Week 16 Mancrushes

Although I hate to link to juggernauts who will never return the favor to web weaklings like us, I don't see how I can post some Mancrushes without mention of Skip Bayless's latest retarded shiz that no one gives a crap about (courtesy of deadspin), this:

That has nothing to do with any point or argument that I'm trying to make, but it makes me feel less self-conscious about this column. Thanks Skip.

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Tosten Burks Kind sir, die. I don't care about what you think your future is for the 2009 season. I could give a crap about how dangerous your team would be in the postseason. And I hate that you and your 17 interceptions made the Pro Bowl over Philip Rivers. But geezus. There's no way I can't love you, Brett Favre, for Week 16. New York's in a three-way tie for their division. There is no margin for error. They'll fight for their life this Sunday against the Seattle Seahawks. Amen. Mike Holmgren's Seattle squad is last in the NFL in passing yards allowed. They are sixth-to-last in touchdowns allowed. Old Bretty Boy should enjoy a nice little game of football this weekend. Zach Fein I don't just have a mancrush on him. No, I absolutely love this guy. I hate myself for not owning Pierre Thomas in any league I am in. In the past five weeks since he started getting the majority of the touches, Thomas is averaging this beastly line: 16 carries for 80 rushing yards, three receptions for 35 yards, and 21 fantasy points; he's had eight touchdowns in those five games. His opponent this week, the Detroit Lions, gives up the most fantasy points to running backs, at 27 per game. The top rusher facing the Lions is averaging a stout 20 touches for 120 yards and 19.3 fantasy points per game; they've scored 17 touchdowns in 14 games this year. Those 19.3 fantasy points are the most that any team allows to top opposing rushers; if the top runner going against the Lions was a player, he would rank second among running backs in rushing yards, tops in rushing touchdowns, and tops in fantasy points (by 2.4 per game!). In short, start Thomas with pride. He's the best option at running back you could have this week. Alex Kozora They say the best things came in small packages. Evidently, the best things can came from fast packages. No, this isn't a FedEx or UPS promo. This is a Greg Jennings promotion. Jennings, the Packers' leading wide receiver, has set career highs in receptions and receiving yards to go along with his eight touchdowns. Jennings and the Pack are set to face a Bears team that's been hit hard by injuries to the secondary, having two cornerbacks—one of which was Nathan Vasher—and a safety on IR. Jennings has scored a touchdown in four of his last five games, including a five catch, 64-yards-and-a-score performance against the Bears in Week 11. The man under center for Green Bay, Aaron Rodgers, has thrown for at least 278 yards and has six touchdowns in the past three games. Hopefully, Greg Jennings will deliver your team a fantasy championship. We just figured out what we're getting all our friends for Christmas. FFWritersWithHair@gmail.com
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Week 15 Mancrushes

Sorry this is being posted late. I've been playing around all day creating this super cool FFWWH widget. It feeds every single piece of analysis, news update, preview, and spotlighted stat that is ever written by the mega awesome FF With Hair guys who are always available to answer any of your questions. FFWritersWithHair@gmail.com. Bam. I just added it to my facebook. Shapow, now it's bookmarked on del.icio.us. And now it's embedded on this here very blog. You can take it anywhere. It's the perfect Christmas present. Actually it's just perfect, period. Kinda like the following group of players for Week 15. Transition jubilation! Tosten Burks Screw you Chargers. I can't believe I'm a fan. I can't believe I own a Tomlinson jersey. I can't believe I read blogs about your franchise. I can't believe you're 5-8. I can't believe a San Diego banker hasn't foreclosed Norv Turner's house in his face. I hate it. Tony Gonzalez loves it. San Diego has been burned by the following list of tight ends this year: Dante Rosario, Tony Scheffler, Dustin Keller, Zach Miller, Mark Campbell, Gonzalez once before, Matt Spaeth, Dallas Clark, Justin Peelle, and Miller another time. Have you even heard of half those guys? The Chargers can't stop tight ends. And this week, starting safety Clinton Hart is out, leaving Steve Gregory to man up Tony Gonzalez. Gregory has only started one game in his entire life. Last week. He'll get plenty of help, but San Diego's been double teaming tight ends all year. Expect huge numbers from Gonzo. Zach Fein What if I told you that the quarterback that has the fourth-most fantasy points in the last four weeks is currently on your waiver wire? And that said quarterback has more fantasy points in that period than Kurt Warner, Peyton Manning, and Tony Romo? And that only three have more touchdowns in that period? And that said quarterback has the ninth-most passing yards in that period? Oh, you're interested? Shaun Hill goes against a Miami team that is allowing more than 15 fantasy points a game to quarterbacks since Week Six (if you take out a negative-fantasy-point performance by Marc Bulger two weeks ago). Quarterbacks are averaging 253 yards and a score in that time frame, again without Bulger's game. There's no reason Hill should be on the bench in any league this week, let alone on the waiver wire. Pick him up if he's available and start him for a 20-point week. Alex Kozora

When your star player is unhappy, you know you better reverse that story. Case in point: Clinton Portis, disgruntled about not getting many carries last week, blasted Jim Zorn on the John Thompson show on December 9th. Apparently, everything between Zorn and Portis has been settled, but you know that Zorn and the Redskins coaching staff will make sure to keep their star running back happy. And what a better time to do so than against the lowly Bengals who rank a paltry 23rd in the league against the run. Portis is almost guaranteed points. If Rachel Ray made a fantasy football recipe, these would be the ingredients.

We're techno-hip! FFWritersWithHair@gmail.com
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Week 14 Mancrushes

Yada, yada, yada, the old intro was boring. I'm cutting it. And the "Straight Outta Mancavedom" thing was absolutely atrocious. How did none of you readers email us and tell us how fricking eye callusing it was? Feedback people. We want to know when we're retarded. Ya I used the R-Word. Retarded. Demented. Inept. Tell us when we're that. [FFWritersWithHair@gmail.com.] Also, tell your frickin friends about this site. I know you take into account every effing word we have to say. Tell your friends to drink our content every desk day too. Share the mother effin tequila. Here's our week fourteen bromances. We like the following list of men. That's right. Tosten Burks You know that gay B-lister on The Hills, Brody? Yeah, dated LC, son of that decathlon. How sick would that be to be in his entourage! To be his best friend. Like MTV says, "He's the type of guy everyone wants to hang out with." So you are trying to become his BFF. But so are a whole group of other "regular guys." And it's all filmed. And televised. Probably prime time. That'd be the sickest thing on the tube right? Okay, shank me in the lymph node now. I'm done. What the heck is wrong with you Music Television dumb jacks? Play music. Not ridiculous episodes of making friends and frolicking in rose petal showers. Like this. You've gotta be joking me. Oh, and start Steve Breaston. He's had at least six receptions three of the past four weeks. Plus the Cardinals play the Rams this week. Who are minus any sort of passing defense. What does that equal? A math problem! And a quality start for Fitz and Boldin's wingman Steve Breaston. Who's cool, unlike Brody Jenner. Zach Fein Don't play Denver running backs....Don't play Denver running backs.... That's a fantasy truism, right? You know, what with Mike Shanahan and his interchangeable-parts backfield? Right? Forget it. Peyton Hillis is an every-week start. He's averaging just below 100 total yards per game on 18 touches in his last three games (as well as four touchdowns in that span) since becoming the starter in Denver. His rushing attempts have gone up by more than five each week and his total yardage by 26. He's had a robust 5.04 yards per carry and 5.46 yards per touch in those three games, too. Want even more reason to start him? His opponent: Kansas City. The top opposing rusher (in terms of fantasy points) going against the Chiefs each week has a per-game line of 16 carries for 90 rushing yards, three receptions for 26 yards, and 19.6 fantasy points, with 16 touchdowns in 12 games. And that's not even including Chris Johnson and his 168 rushing yards in Week Seven. Alex Kozora Canada, eh?

Yes, that's where my mancrush where be playing this week. No, this isn't anyone from the CFL (sorry Mike Vanderjagt, currently of the Toronto Argonauts).

I'm talking about Marshawn Lynch, and he and the Bills will be playing in Toronto this weekend. It's bound to be cold, I've never heard of a Canadian heat wave, and with a QB situation that won't be decided until gametime [Ed's note: Trent Edwards was declared out], you can bet the Bills will as run-minded as can be.

Lynch is averaging 18 carries at home this year allowing for a lot of opportunities to rack up yards and touchdowns. Yes, I consider Toronto a home game for the Bills.

A great start this week, eh?

We don't ever state the obvious of all slapping you in the forehead multiple times obviousness. FFWritersWithHair@gmail.com
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Straight Outta the Mancavedom: Week 11 Mancrushes

Is there a better activity in the world than chilling down in the man cave discussing football and girls? Red-blooded American males say it in unison, "No." Of course not. This is why every Thursday (or in this week's case, late Friday) FFWWH will let you all in on our own couch talk about football. And girls. And football playing girls.But mostly, football playing guys. So here's our week eleven bromances. Zach Fein They say rookie quarterbacks aren’t supposed to be fantasy worthy. Yet this year, two have debunked that myth—and one is my Week 11 mancrush. Matt Ryan has had 15-plus fantasy points in each of the past five games, with an average of 16.3 fantasy points. In that time frame he’s had 248 passing yards per game, with nine touchdowns and only three interceptions. This week Ryan faces the Broncos and their defense that has given up the fifth-most fantasy points per game to opposing quarterbacks. Fantasy gold. Alex Kozora Sure, most weeks our mancrushes are someone fairly obvious: the Kurt Warners, Drew Brees(es?) and anyone playing the Raiders of the world. Instead of that, I introduce you a guy that hasn't been talked about much....yet. That guy is Jason Hill. Who? Wide receiver for the 49ers, and he has an opportunity to showcase what he can bring to the table this week. He started to showcase that last week, hauling in seven catches for 84 yards in the 49ers offense led by Shaun Hill, who will continue to start this week and likely for the rest of the year. [Editor's note: A late stat change lowered Hill's totals to six catches for 82 yards. The missing catch went to Isaac Bruce.] Isaac Bruce and Bryant Johnson? Teetering towards irrelevancy. Josh Morgan and Arnaz Battle? Injured and not going to play. Dominique Zeigler? Need I say more? The Rams have been torched the past two games with Kurt Warner throwing all over them and the Jets putting up 40 by halftime. Tosten Burks Well....we're still waiting on this one. We've selected our Cabinet. FFWritersWithHair@gmail.com
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Straight Outta Mancavedom: Week 10 Mancrushes

Is there a better activity in the world than chilling down in the man cave discussing football and girls? Red-blooded American males say it in unison, "No." Of course not. This is why every Thursday (or in this week's case, late Saturday) FFWWH will let you all in on our own couch talk about football. And girls. And football playing girls. But mostly, football playing guys. So here's our week ten bromances. Zach Fein The Oakland Raiders are terrible. They've given up the fourth-most fantasy points to opposing running backs, including an average of 17.9 in the last six weeks to the top scorer on opponents' teams. Those top rushers gained an average of 115 total yards (96 on the ground) and a touchdown DeAngelo Williams has had 16.9 fantasy points per game in the last four weeks (that number rises to 21.4 is you take out his stinker against Tampa Bay), and at least 17 touches in four of the past five weeks. You can expect Williams to be a top-12 back this week as he puts up 100 yards and a score against the disordered Raiders. Alex Kozora The Raiders are a mess.

And the Panthers will greatly benefit from that this weekend. Flying under the radar is Muhsin Muhammad. Steve Smith should be blanked all day by Nmandi Asomugha, and with the recent release of DeAngelo Hall, who was oh so wrong on this prediction , Moose gets to face special teamer Chris Johnson.

The Raiders have a below average pass defense, 20th in the league. Jake Delhomme has thrown for two touchdown passes in four of the last five games while Muhammad hasn't had a game where he's caught less than three passes this season. And against Oakland, three catches would be all he needs.

Tosten Burks So everybody's picking on the Raiders. Well I got news for ya'll, a great start for you is... Man. I can't do it. I want to find a Raider who could have any fantasy value but it's impossible. Geezus they're bad. But you know who's good? (Ahhhh look at that segway.) Tyler Thigpen. Don't check my pulse, he's dropped 480 yards since he got the starting job two weeks ago and now he faces the worst pass defense in football. Cromartie will be back, but the San Diego Chargers still have no clue how to defend tight ends. Gonzo and Thigpen will roll... To a loss. A fantasy field day NFL loss.
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Straight Outta Mancavedom: Week 9 Mancrushes

Is there a better activity in the world than chilling down in the man cave discussing football and girls? Red-blooded American males say it in unison, "No." Of course not. This is why every Thursday (or in this week's case, late Saturday) FFWWH will let you all in on our own couch talk about football. And girls. And football playing girls. The down side? Football playing girls don't matter in the type of fantasy football that this site is specifically about. So uhh, we kind of had to improvise and work with what we have. So, umm, this feature will be about our mancrushes. (Ya, ya, cue the "figures, he's from California" jokes, blah, blah.) Moving on. Here's each of our respective mancrushes for week nine. And please do not take this as a political endorsement of California's Prop 8. This is strictly a sports-centric establishment. Gage Arnold (Look who it is. Craig's List works wonders.)

Well, this week it's noteworthy that my mancrush wears Lee jeans and reels in touchdowns with them on. My mancrush is none other than Lee Evans of the Buffalo Bills.

Since rising from his sophomore slump days, Evans has stood out on a rising and young Buffalo offense and has been a target in the red zone and on deep balls. Showing great chemistry with Trent Edwards, Evans' catches have increased each week with a booming eight and seven grabs the last two weeks, respectively. With the Jets coming in, who give up the sixth-most fantasy points to opposing wide receivers, this smells like victory and a great fantasy output for a good rising star in this league. (Could the word "rising" be used any more?)

Tosten Burks He isn't flashy, just beastly. With touch-hawking Warrick Dunn unlikely to play this weekend, Earnest Graham will reap 100 percent of the benefits of playing the worst run defense in football. The Chiefs have given up on average just a shade under 200 rushing yards per game along with 14 total touchdowns, three more than any other defense in the NFL. The Bucs have a top-10 running game and when all that is consolidated into one back's hands it's hardly wrong to anticipate a league-leading Halloween Candy Graham from Earnest this weekend. Zach Fein Over 15. In the past four weeks, Chad Pennington has averaged more than 15 fantasy points per game. And on the year, his Week 9 opponent, the Denver Broncos, have given up more than 15 fantasy points per game to opposing QBs. Pennington has the fifth-most yards per game in the past four weeks as well, to go along with the 10th-most fantasy points per game. Expect 15 more fantasy points this week against the Champ Bailey-less Denver pass defense. Alex Kozora

Isn't it great when all the pieces fit together so perfectly?

Kurt Warner's owners should find that out very quickly this week. Anquan Boldin is back, and that means that the Cardinals offense is the same explosive self. Not to mention that it didn't seem like Warner and Boldin missed a beat last week. After all, they hooked up for two touchdowns. They also have a guy named Larry Fitzgerald. I hear he's pretty good, too. The Rams defense ranks near the bottom in both pass defense and points allowed per game, 25th and 30th respectively. It all adds up to a big day for Warner and the rest of Arizona's offense

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Straight Outta Mancavedom: Week 8 Mancrushes

Is there a better activity in the world than chilling down in the man cave discussing football and girls? Red-blooded American males say it in unison, "No." Of course not. This is why every Thursday (or in this week's case, late Saturday) FFWWH will let you all in on our own couch talk about football. And girls. And football playing girls. The down side? Football playing girls don't matter in the type of fantasy football that this site is specifically about. So uhh, we kind of had to improvise and work with what we have. So, umm, this feature will be about our mancrushes. (Ya, ya, cue the "figures, he's from California" jokes, blah, blah.) Moving on. Here's each of our respective mancrushes for week eight. Tosten Burks Roy Williams, the safety, is out for a while. Cornerback Terence Newman has not practiced yet this week. Pacman, Pacman, Pacman—the Dallas secondary is torn up. The Tampa pass offense will ball up. Antonio Bryant, addressed here, should have an absolute field day. Like No. 1 WR numbers field day. Start him everywhere. Stat Guy So I hear J.T. O'Sullivan might lose his job to Shaun Hill. I also hear there's a new coach that will shake things up in San Francisco. Yet I still like O'Sullivan so much so that he's my mancrush of the week. You can look at the real life side of view—he's had a passer rating below 70 in each of the past four weeks—but I see that he's had eight touchdowns since week two, and he's playing the Seahawks this week. Which brings up my second point: the Seahawks are second-worst against opposing QBs in terms of fantasy points per game. And they haven't even played any great QBs either—Edwards, O'Sullivan, Bulger, Eli, Rodgers and Garcia. I'm calling 250 yards and two or three scores for O'Sullivan this week. A-Koz Can you have a bigger mancrush on a guy? I think not. I'll take a page out of Jon Kitna's book and guarantee that Clinton Portis has a near career day against the hapless Lions this week. Portis has been tearing it up all year long, including rushing for 100 or more yards in his past four games. Looking at the Lions defense—well, there isn't much to look at. They rank 31st in the league against the run, giving up over 160 yards per game. Washington is coming off of a bad loss to St. Louis two weeks ago and a narrow victory against a struggling Browns team, so you know they're looking to take out some of their anger on Detroit. Gage Arnold Anyone know who to contact for advertising on milk cartons? We talk to strangers. FFWritersWithHair@gmail.com
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Straight Outta Mancavedom: Week 7 Mancrushes

Is there a better activity in the world than chilling down in the man cave discussing football and girls? Red-blooded American males say it in unison, "No." Of course not. This is why every Thursday (or in this week's case, late Saturday) FFWWH will let you all in on our own couch talk about football. And girls. And football playing girls. The down side? Football playing girls don't matter in the type of fantasy football that this site is specifically about. So uhh, we kind of had to improvise and work with what we have. So, umm, this feature will be about our mancrushes. (Ya, ya, cue the "figures, he's from California" jokes, blah, blah.) Moving on. Here's each of our respective mancrushes for week seven. A-Koz He came up big last week and that should continue this week. Vincent Jackson, as I mentioned in my weekly recap, was a monster last week. He tore up the Pats secondary and was targeted many times on the deep ball. [Ed's note: V-Jax had 10 targets in week six.]

Now he gets to go against a Bills' secondary that is ravaged by injuries. In addition to Terrence McGee being out this week, Ashton Youboty could be out this week. The Chargers know that that'll be the weakness of Buffalo and should try to exploit it early and often. Chris Chambers is listed as doubtful this week, leaving Jackson with nearly all the targets to WRs this week. Stat Boy Don't you love it when your quarterback is coming off back-to-back 300-yards games and is playing the worst passing defense this week? Yeah, I figured. That's why Matt Schaub is my mancrush of the week. The past two games he's played, Schaub has had an average of 340 yards and two passing touchdowns (along with a rushing score as well). On the season, the Detroit Lions have given up 260 yards and two scores per game to opposing quarterbacks. Oh, and Schaub is playing them this week. Look for Schaub to get another 300-yard game and two more scores as he plays his way into the top-four quarterbacks on the week. Tosten Burks Great, great things come from the uniquely dressed. White bow tie on a white shirt? Puleease. Thank god you had that "I didn't know your great-grandfather but from everything that John McCain has told me..." joke. My point? The Bucs will be wearing these beauties this weekend. Against the sixth-worst defense in the NFL. Which is pretty much better than good for the Tampa Bay running game that is sixth best in the league. Start Earnest Graham and Warrick Dunn in every league you're in. Gage Arnold Paging Gage, paging Gage. Please don't go the way of your Vols football program. Keep the fight....

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Straight Outta the Man Cave: Week 6 Mancrushes

Is there a better activity in the world than chilling down in the man cave discussing football and girls? Red blooded American males say it in unison, "No." Of course not. This is why every Thursday (Or in this week's case, late Saturday) FFWWH will let you all in on our own couch talk about football. And girls. And football playing girls. The down side? Football playing girls don't matter in the type of fantasy football that this site is specifically about. So uhh, we kind of had to improvise and work with what we have. So, umm, this feature will be about our mancrushes. (Ya, ya, cue the "figures, he's from California" jokes, blah, blah.) Moving on. Here's each of our respective man crushes for week 6. A-Koz I called him a sleeper last year. I was wrong—way wrong. I think that I was a year ahead of myself. Believe it or not, but Visanthe Shiancoe is ranked eighth among all tight end's this year. Gus Ferrotte is a lot more willing to throw the ball to his TE than Tarvarais Jackson was last year and early this season. With the Vikings going against a terrible Lions defense that gave up over 300 yards to Kyle Orton and the Bears last week, Shiancoe is a sleeper in my books. Stat Boy He isn't Sexy Rexy, but he is the Big KO. Kyle Orton is my mancrush of the week. Over the past three weeks, Orton has the third-most fantasy points per game among quarterbacks (over 17, behind only Drew Brees and Brett Favre), the fourth-most passing yards, and the second-most touchdowns passes with seven scores. This week he plays a Falcons team that has given up the fourth-most fantasy points per game, the most touchdowns per game, and the fifth-most yards per game to opposing quarterbacks. (Those stats excluding the Chiefs game when terrible Tyler Thigpen was quarterback.) Orton should be good for 300 yards and two or three scores this week against the Falcons. He's a top-seven QB this week and a must-start in all formats. Tosten It's ironic. Being so good at one thing but so mediocre at something else. Not Kanye West and his less-than-good vocoder "enhanced" sing star moment coming from an all time great rapper. The Chicago Bears defense. The squad that is fourth in the league against the run is 23rd against the pass. In other words, the Atlanta Falcons will rely on Roddy White and the passing game rather than Michael Turner and the running game to keep the offense moving. Rookie Matt Ryan could be a decent start, but White, who is third in the NFL in receiving yards, is as solid as any wide out in the league for week six, especially with the Falcons likely to be playing from behind against Kanye's Chi-town. New Guy His mancrush article went M.I.A. this week. He's like the Rams' defense. Neither of them show up.
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Straight Outta The Man Cave: Week Four Man Crushes

Is there a better activity in the world than chilling down in the man cave discussing football and girls? Red blooded American males say it in unison, "No." Of course not. This is why every Thursday FFWWH will let you all in on our own couch talk about football. And girls. And football playing girls. The down side? Football playing girls don't matter in the type of fantasy football that this site is specifically about. So uhh, we kind of had to improvise and work with what we have. So, umm, this feature will be about our mancrushes. (Ya, ya, cue the "figures, he's from California" jokes, blah, blah.) Moving on. Here's each of our respective man crushes for week 4. A-Koz (who so graciously wrote this approximately 39 hours after his deadline) It's a somewhat obvious choice, but you have to go with Trent Edwards of the Bills. He's playing against the Rams. That right there should be all you need to know. If you've been living under a rock for the past four weeks, the Rams are a complete mess. They just released one of their starting CB's (Fakir Brown) and the team is likely going to start a riot any second now. Edwards has looked much improved this season, and has the potential to be one of the better QB's in this league. Stat Boy (Ain't that cute, Zach and Alex match! I bet they called each other) Any time someone is playing the Rams, they should be started on any and all fantasy teams—including Trent Edwards, who is my mancrush of the week. On the year the Rams have given up 846 yards, seven TDs, and 16 rushing yards to quarterbacks (including no interceptions), which is the most fantasy points given up to QBs by any team this year. Those totals would also be good for the fourth-best QB if the Rams pass defense were a player. Edwards' game-by-game passing totals have increased from 215 in week one, to 239, and then 279 last week. He should be good for 280 yards and two scores this week against the lowly Rams. New Kid Gage Arnold

It's time for Jason Witten to have his breakout game.

Witten is playing the Redskins this week. Yes, those Redskins that are without Jason Taylor and with a player who is coming back early from ACL surgery (that would be Carlos Rogers). And the fact that the Skins don't allow anything deep makes this matchup even more enticing, as that is where Witten roams and dominates. Expect a good game from Witten, somewhere between eight-to-ten catches, 100-125 yards and one-to-two scores. Tosten Burks Anyone care to explain to me what has happened to Champ Bailey and Dre Bly and the "stacked" Denver Broncos secondary? Did John Lynch curse the franchise on his way out of the league? Shanahan's crew has given up 30 more passing yards per game than any other team in the NFL. You know who will benefit this week? Jon Kitna. No miracle will be needed for him to be a great Carson Palmer or Ben Roethlisberger fill in this Sunday. The Lions will be playing from behind, and Kitna and company will air it out often, to what should be quite a bit of success against the supposed top-class Denver corners. Calvin Johnson and Roy Williams should be in your starting line up too.

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Straight Outta The Man Cave: Week Three Man Crushes

Is there a better activity in the world than chilling down in the man cave discussing football and girls? Red blooded American males say it in unison, "No." Of course not. This is why every Thursday FFWWH will let you all in on our own couch talk about football. And girls. And football playing girls. The down side? Football playing girls don't matter in the type of fantasy football that this site is specifically about. So uhh, we kind of had to improvise and work with what we have. So, umm, this feature will be about our mancrushes. (Ya, ya, cue the "figures, he's from California" jokes, blah, blah) Moving on. Here's each of our respective man crushes for week 3. A-Koz

While he has struggled so far and I wasn't big on him entering the year, I really like Maurice Jones-Drew this week. Jacksonville needs to get back to their bread and butter, and that means a heavy dose of the running game. Though the loss of both their starting guards hurts, the Colts are without two key run-stoppers, DT Ed Johnson and safety Bob Sanders. Johnson's loss showed last week as Adrian Peterson racked up 130 yards on the Colts' defense. Look for MJD to bounce back this week, and if he does, that'd be the perfect time to deal him. Stat Boy

He’s playing a team that’s given up more than 200 yards per game on the ground this year, and almost 120 YPG last year. That’s right (Ed Note: Don't worry, I don't know why he said that either.)—Brandon Jacobs is my week two man crush. Jacobs has averaged more than 100 yards than this year (don’t forget, he was third last year in terms of rushing yards per game), and as Chris Berman says, this guy is going to be rumblin’, bumblin’, stumblin’ to a 100 more yards and a score this week against the lowly Bengals’ defense. Hey, I picked Kurt Warner last week, and he had 360 passing yards. (Ed Note: No one cares. Especially not morons who for some reason said to start Ryan Grant.) New Guy (Who Still Has Not Officially Been Christened Into This Brotherhood Yet Due To The Fact That His Couch Is Really Comfortable And Apparently Has Kept Him From Sitting In Front Of His Computer For 30 Minutes To Post At Least Once A Decade)

You would be crazy this week not to take Frank Gore. Gore is facing the Lions—do I even need to say anything else? The last time Gore went up against the Lions was in his 2006 breakout campaign where he torched them for over 100 yards and two scores, and I see nothing but the same in this matchup. With the passing game still working its way into the San Fran offense, I see Gore running all over the Lions as well as grabbing five-to-seven passes and turning in the best RB performance for week three. If you don't have this man on your roster now, you're probably too late, because his stock is already hotter than Rachel McAdams in a swimsuit. Tosten Burks Football Fun Toy For Week 3, Name Unknown (but really wanted):

It took a hamstring injury and an Al Davis pulse check for it to happen—the hamstring injury was not sustained by Davis but by Justin Fargas just as an FYI for all you temporarily ecstatic Raiders fans—but I am finally jumping on the Darren McFadden bandwagon. Fargas is out for a period of time that ESPN's John Clayton so helpfully described as "a few weeks."

McFadden can run 40 yards in 4.33 seconds; think how much the fourth overall pick can do in 21 days. Enough to carry a fantasy team or two, especially this week at Buffalo. The Bills have been somewhat decent against the run thus far, but does the Jacksonville offensive line or Leonard Weaver really scare anyone? Let's see how Dick Jauron and company do against Kiffin's crew.

LL Cool J killed his brief performance at the VMA's. Count Run DMC in to do the same during week three.

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From the Man Cave Sofa Chronicles: Man Crush Thursday!

Is there a better activity in the world than chilling down in the man cave discussing football and girls? Red blooded American males say it in unison, "No." Of course not. This is why every Thursday FFWWH will let you all in on our own couch talk about football. And girls. And football playing girls. The down side? Football playing girls don't matter in the type of fantasy football that this site is specifically about. So uhh, we kind of had to improvise and work with what we have. So, umm, this feature will be about our mancrushes. (Ya, ya, cue the "figures, he's from California" jokes, blah, blah) Moving on. Here's each of our respective man crushes for week 1. A-Koz With Marques Colston out 4-6 weeks and consequently it opens the door for new players to shine in the Saints' high-powered offense (plus it makes Tosten totally screwed in the 20 team league we're both in).

One of those is David Patten. This week, Patten gets to go against the depleted Washington secondary, who got torched last week. Plaxico Burress put up big numbers against them, having 10 receptions for over 130 yards. Patten in the #1 WR this week and there really isn't a true #2 on the team with Colston out, similar to New York. Robert Meachem has struggled with route-running and wasn't even active yet, and Devery Henderson is more hit-or-miss than my jokes.

Stat Boy I’ll start my mancrush analysis with a comparison of two players, with their stats from last year (both prorated to 515 pass attempts). Player A: 65% completion percentage, 4040 yards, 31 touchdowns, and 14 interceptions Player B: 60% completion percentage, 4010 yards, 35 touchdowns, and 18 interceptions You might recognize Player A as Peyton Manning. But Player B? Those are the stats allowed by the Miami Dolphins’ passing defense last year, and those would have been good for third among all quarterbacks last year. Which is why my week two mancrush is Kurt Warner. Last year from week 10 on, nobody had as many touchdowns as Warner (not even Tom Brady), plus his passer rating at home was 18 points higher than on the road (and in case you were wondering, this week the Cards are at home). Besides the obvious Tony Romo and Peyton Manning, there is no other quarterback I'd rather have this week.. New Guy Call me a bandwagoner (Ed note: oh don't worry, we will), but I'm going Chris Johnson. Johnson proved he's here to stay with his coming out party against the "highly" touted Jaguars defense. Now that he's facing a defense that gave up 100 yards to Le'Ron McClain, I think Johnson has a field day and easily surpases 100 yards rushing, as well as a few receiving yards and a TD. And trust me, the best is yet to come with this kid, and if you don't grab him while you can, he'll be more coveted than Elisha Cuthbert's phone number. Tosten Burks Tiffany Toth. No question about it. You thought I was gonna start a column, "Is there a better activity in the world than chilling down in the man cave discussing football and girls?" and not provide some gorilla biscuits? You underestimate me. But seriously, this week you have got to start Ryan Grant. He's playing the Lions. Last week, Michael Turner put up 200 yards and two scores against Detroit. Lost in the BT madness was Jerious Norwood, who also put up 93 rushing yards and one touchdown. That's 300 and three. By the Falcons. Ryan Grant's totals are gonna be higher than Mario Chalmers this week.

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