The HAIRY'S: Week 14 Edition

Gage Arnold shows up for the first time in six weeks and gives us his Week 14 HAIRY'S awards. Well folks, here we are. Fantasy playoffs are on our doorstep and many playoff spots were set in stone this week. I'm sure that for those of you who relied on FFWWH this year, you're safely sitting in the playoffs. Listening to our advice of consistency and making sneaky deals for players with soft playoff schedules (cough, cough) will do that for ya. Let's get right to it everyone, it's time to pass out our HAIRY's. Minus all the Pink, Britney, and Madonna drama. Nor will Twilight be mentioned at anytime in this presentation.

The Sixth Sense Award (For Biggest Surprise)

And the Award goes to... Matt Schaub, QB, Texans

Where did this guy come from? I mean, the name is familiar, but seriously, who is he? Schaub, coming off of a four-week layoff from a knee injury, completely destroyed the Packers secondary by scorching them for 400-plus yards. He also threw for two TDs and even managed to let his stud WR Andre Johnson have a decent game against Pro Bowl corner Charles Woodson. Pick him up if he's available; otherwise, hope you don't face him in the playoffs as the Texans are finally hitting full stride.

The Last Indiana Jones Movie Whose Name You Can't Remember Because It Sucked So Much (For Biggest Bust)

And the Award goes to... Marshawn Lynch, RB, Bills Wow. What a stinker Lynch put up. Only three total fantasy points against the Dolphins of all teams. While they aren't what they were last year, this defense is still able to be scored on by all means. Though Lynch wasn't supposed to obliterate this defense I expected a decent output from him. But instead I was placed with nothing more than the dud he placed on Sunday.

Lord, Del's Cup (Awarded to the Coach who Orchestrated The Biggest Team of Stooges)

And the Award goes to... Mike Smith, Falcons While Smith has done an extraordinary job with this team, he managed to possibly cost his team a playoff spot with his call on Sunday. On their own 35-yard line with time under five minutes left, Smith chose to punt the ball and promptly never saw the ball again and suffered the 29-25 loss against the Saints. This was a great game and the call could be called brave, but in my humble opinion, you have to go for it. The Falcons defense cannot stop the Saints high-octane offense, so why not take a shot and at worse you lose the ball at a decent spot, which is nothing huge for the Saints. Not saying that his team consists of stooges, just his decision was questionable nevertheless.

Paris Hilton Award (For the Player who Screwed the Most Owners This Week)

And the Award goes to... Randy Moss, WR, Patriots A very, very, very below-average game for Randy against the lowly Seahawks' pass defense. Tons of owners (including myself) were tempted into the Dolphins game and wanted and expected more from the stud receiver. While his five-point stinker could have been worse, he does have the Oakland Nnamdi's up next, so expect another sub-par performance from Moss.

The Chad John... Ocho Cin.... Ochocin.... Johnson Award (For Most Overblown Story of the Week)

And the Award goes to... Plaxico Burress, WR, Giants This comes as a little surprise to anyone, as we await the wording on his final verdict for shooting himself in the leg with his illegal weapon. I'm pretty sure this could not have gone worse for Plax. I mean the man shot himself, and he may even go to jail, and this guy should totally be on Best Week Ever. Have a great week everyone, and see you guys next week. You stay classy. We're on the keyboard like a boss, and we floss. FFWritersWithHair@gmail.com