Friday, December 5

Week 14 Mancrushes

Yada, yada, yada, the old intro was boring. I'm cutting it. And the "Straight Outta Mancavedom" thing was absolutely atrocious. How did none of you readers email us and tell us how fricking eye callusing it was? Feedback people. We want to know when we're retarded. Ya I used the R-Word. Retarded. Demented. Inept. Tell us when we're that. [] Also, tell your frickin friends about this site. I know you take into account every effing word we have to say. Tell your friends to drink our content every desk day too. Share the mother effin tequila. Here's our week fourteen bromances. We like the following list of men. That's right. Tosten Burks You know that gay B-lister on The Hills, Brody? Yeah, dated LC, son of that decathlon. How sick would that be to be in his entourage! To be his best friend. Like MTV says, "He's the type of guy everyone wants to hang out with." So you are trying to become his BFF. But so are a whole group of other "regular guys." And it's all filmed. And televised. Probably prime time. That'd be the sickest thing on the tube right? Okay, shank me in the lymph node now. I'm done. What the heck is wrong with you Music Television dumb jacks? Play music. Not ridiculous episodes of making friends and frolicking in rose petal showers. Like this. You've gotta be joking me. Oh, and start Steve Breaston. He's had at least six receptions three of the past four weeks. Plus the Cardinals play the Rams this week. Who are minus any sort of passing defense. What does that equal? A math problem! And a quality start for Fitz and Boldin's wingman Steve Breaston. Who's cool, unlike Brody Jenner. Zach Fein Don't play Denver running backs....Don't play Denver running backs.... That's a fantasy truism, right? You know, what with Mike Shanahan and his interchangeable-parts backfield? Right? Forget it. Peyton Hillis is an every-week start. He's averaging just below 100 total yards per game on 18 touches in his last three games (as well as four touchdowns in that span) since becoming the starter in Denver. His rushing attempts have gone up by more than five each week and his total yardage by 26. He's had a robust 5.04 yards per carry and 5.46 yards per touch in those three games, too. Want even more reason to start him? His opponent: Kansas City. The top opposing rusher (in terms of fantasy points) going against the Chiefs each week has a per-game line of 16 carries for 90 rushing yards, three receptions for 26 yards, and 19.6 fantasy points, with 16 touchdowns in 12 games. And that's not even including Chris Johnson and his 168 rushing yards in Week Seven. Alex Kozora Canada, eh?

Yes, that's where my mancrush where be playing this week. No, this isn't anyone from the CFL (sorry Mike Vanderjagt, currently of the Toronto Argonauts).
I'm talking about Marshawn Lynch, and he and the Bills will be playing in Toronto this weekend. It's bound to be cold, I've never heard of a Canadian heat wave, and with a QB situation that won't be decided until gametime [Ed's note: Trent Edwards was declared out], you can bet the Bills will as run-minded as can be.
Lynch is averaging 18 carries at home this year allowing for a lot of opportunities to rack up yards and touchdowns. Yes, I consider Toronto a home game for the Bills.
A great start this week, eh?
We don't ever state the obvious of all slapping you in the forehead multiple times obviousness.

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