Monday, January 12

Jacking ESPN's Material: 2009 Predictions by Alex Kozora

I'm not gonna sit here and lie to you. Not all that Matthew Berry is associated with is bad. Take Anne Hatheway. Or this blog. Or Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles. Or the prediction survey that he and the rest of Bristol's resident loser table fantasy guys put out for the new year. The thing that I'm thieving and in which plugging my own answers. Arrest me. Now, with less Tosten, Zach, and Gage. Saving the best for last. Your name: Alex Kozora But you wish to be referred to as: Alex (how orginal) You're a shameless, unabashed fan of: Pinching pennies But we shouldn't hold it against you because: Better to be fiscally tight than loose. Your fondest sports wish for 2009 is: That Chidi Iwuoma signs with a team. Why will this happen/not happen? No one has shown much interest in him yet... Who is your biggest sleeper pick for 2009? Haven't given it much thought yet, but I'll go with Josh Morgan. How high would you reach for that sleeper in a draft? 8th round. Which player are you buying into but is most likely to disappoint you? Matt Hasselbeck. Good value, but injuries are a concern. Which player are you not buying into but is most likely to disappoint everyone else? Darren Sproles Who will be the best rookie to emerge in 2009? All depends on where they go, but Shonne Green really impressed me this year. Who will be... ... the first player drafted in fantasy football leagues? Adrian Peterson ... the player everyone will wish they had drafted? Earnest Graham ... the first player drafted in the NFL draft? Andre Smith ... the first rookie drafted in fantasy football leagues? Chris "Beanie" Wells. Mad Gabs 1. In 2009, the Wildcat will not work for any team until it is used even less sparingly. 2. There is no way I will bail on LT. 3. Maurice Jones-Drew will be this year's Joseph Addai. 4. Brett Favre will be talked about on Sportscenter so much, ESPN will change its name to the Favre Network. 5. If Kerry Collins keeps the starting gig, then Justin Gage doesn't look so bad. 6. There will be still be multiple players who get drafted ahead of Clinton Portis. 7. ... but only 1 player who scores more points among running backs. 8. Matthew Berry will continue to be the "creepy uncle" at family reunions. 9. This is the year that I finally cut down on fantasy football leagues. 10. 2009 will forever be remembered as the year the Packers' trading Favre and starting Rodgers was a great move. The Name Game Tom Brady or Peyton Manning? Manning Michael Turner or LaDainian Tomlinson? LT Randy Moss or Calvin Johnson? Moss Antonio Bryant or Marques Colston? Tougher than it seems, but I'll go Colston. Little more proven. Brandon Jacobs or Marion Barber? Jacobs DeAngelo Williams or Clinton Portis? Portis Playing with Numbers Adrian Peterson's yards and touchdowns: 1,950 (total); 15 TDs Drew Brees's yards and touchdowns: 4,500; 30 Tom Brady's yards and touchdowns: 4,100; 26 Kurt Warner's starts: 14 Braylon Edwards's yards, touchdowns, and drops: 1,229; 8; 10 Chad Ocho Cinco's yards and touchdowns: 825; 8 (Think Greg Jennings from '07) Chad Ocho Cinco's ridiculous statements: Only Chuck Norris can count that high. Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace What question do you wish you had been asked on this survey? How high will I rank Joseph Addai this year? And the answer is? Low. What question are you glad you weren't asked? Thoughts on Big Ben? Sucker! Now you have to answer. No clue. That's why I'm glad I wasn't asked.

No comments: