Rotoworld Whore Report - 6/23

Heck yes we're using an NBA slogan for this blog. A split screen TV commercial is coming. Heck yes we have a column called Man Crush Monday. A George Takei guest spot is coming too. And heck yes my colleague Alex doesn't know how to properly use apostrophes. When you have hair, who needs grammar anyway! But my explanations and rants have pulled me away from the task at hand, which is to fight through denial and admit my addiction problem. No I don't do crack. I'm not a porn guy either. Admitting is the first step. Admitting is the first step. I... I'm a Rotoworld whore. My weakness is the beautiful site known as Rotoworld. It's amazing. It's fantastic. It's the only reason I'm single; I'm holding out in hopes that California will let people marry websites to go with same sex unions. However, since that's not going to happen until some weirdo is in office, the next best thing is to break down the reports every day for you guys. And awaaay we go. Strahan is Foxy Michael Strahan will join Fox's Sunday pregame show.

It appears that he'll be added to the mix without any of the Fox regulars getting the boot. Strahan is genuinely funny, so the ratio of actual laughter versus painfully forced laughter should be on the rise.

Source: SI.com Yes, the laughter will be genuine. How can Bradshaw's dome now combined with Strahan's teeth not produce sincere amusement? Avoiding ESPN's Bermanism filled pregame circus has never been as fun as it will be this season. Benson's Tricked Out Ride A Travis County judge has ordered free agent Cedric Benson to put a built-in breathalyzer in his car.

The judge also told Benson to begin alchohol counseling classes. The ignition interlock breathalyzer must be installed within the next 72 hours. It will prevent Benson from driving if he doesn't blow into it and register under the legal limit.

Source: Austin American Statesman

Ha. Bet not even his drug dealer has this tricked out feature on his whip. First pre-installed AC, then satellite radio, and now built-in breathalyzers? Automobile innovation never ceases to amaze. Ali On the Block Browns FB Charles Ali may be available in a trade, according to the Cleveland Plain Dealer's Terry Pluto.

Ali, a pure blocker and special teamer, might net Cleveland a seventh-round pick. He appeared in 13 games as a rookie in 2007 and received no touches.

Source: Cleveland Plain Dealer Charles Ali may be dangled in trades by the Browns. The decision is not an absolute though. Phil Savage is still scoping out the league to see if he'll be able to get at least a few bags of footballs and a sandwich or two for Romeo in return for this stud before he for sure puts Ali out there for offers.

Packers Looking for Backup QB Rookie QB Brian Brohm reportedly showed poor decision making and took too many "would-be" sacks at Packers pre-training camp workouts.

As you'd expect from a rookie in a complex offense. Aaron Rodgers' job isn't in doubt. The Green Bay Press-Gazette says that if Brohm continues to struggle, the Pack might sign a veteran (Craig Nall?) to take over as Rodgers' primary backup. Matt Flynn reportedly looked worse than Brohm, displaying a weak arm and picking up the offense slowly.

Source: Green Bay Press-Gazette This is smart. There are some definite veterans on the market that would fit perfectly in Green Bay. One of them has constant five o'clock shadow and a lover by the name of John Madden... Don't take Rodgers in your early drafts thinking that you have a for sure starter. Favre's retirement papers aren't in yet. Roydell has Fisher Fuming Titans coach Jeff Fisher called Roydell Williams' slow recovery from a fractured ankle "frustrating." Williams' surgery required screws and plates, which won't be removed from his leg until 2009.

It's more frustrating for Williams, as he's in a contract year and has almost certainly lost his starting job to Justin McCareins. Williams hopes to be ready for camp, but doesn't anticipate being pain free all season. He won't be a fantasy asset in 2008. "I don't know anything about him," new coordinator Mike Heimerdinger acknowledged.

Source: Nashville Tennessean I can't decide what is more frustrating. The fact that Williams is having a slow recovery or that he lost his starting job to Justin McCareins. That tells you all you need to know about the weapons Vince Young has to work with. Please don't take VY as anything more than a back up on your fantasy roster. Update: Ryan Grant's Contract Negotiations SI.com's Bucky Brooks predicts that the Packers and exclusive rights free agent Ryan Grant will eventually agree on a "three- or four-year extension."

Ideally, Grant should be shooting for a three-year contract in roughly the $14-15 million range. That way he could enter the unrestricted free agent market at age 28. He'll turn 30 at the end of the 2012 season and a four-year contract would take him to that year. Most people are rightfully scared of that age when it comes to running backs.

Source: SI.com

I don't have anything to say here, this report doesn't affect his fantasy football value. He's still a second round pick and a borderline top 15 running back. I just wanted to put this in here because the writer who broke this story is named Bucky. Bucky! The Freak Rides Dirty Titans DE Jevon Kearse was reportedly arrested and charged with DUI early Sunday.

Nashville police say Kearse was "speeding and swerving several times" while behind the wheel. Kearse reportedly exhibited red eyes, slurred speech, and his breath smelled like alcohol when an officer pulled him over. He claimed to have only drank one vodka red bull, but refused a breath test. This is Kearse's first known offense, so he's likely not at risk of suspension.

Source: Newschannel 5 Tennessee This report is a few days old, but I just had to get my five cents in on it. Kearse probably isn't telling the truth, but if he is, it's more pathetic than if he lied. Seriously, what would be sadder? That another NFL player is drinking it up in the bars and clubs and driving afterwards? Or that a 6'4, 265 pound man could be such a lightweight that he gets this drunk from a single vodka red bull? But don't worry Jevon. I believe that you only drank one vodka red bull. You also had only one apple martini, only one Kamikaze shot, only one Y2K shot, only one shot of Smurf Piss, and only one Peppermint Patty.